Have you seen these purple wristbands people have been wearing? I only recently became aware of this campaign that promises happiness as the result of not complaining. Started by the Rev. Bowen of North Kansas City’s Christ Church Unity, the concept is quite simple. Wear the purple wristband and complain no more for 21 days. Complain and you must switch the band to your other wrist and turn over your 21-day hourglass. Apparently gossip and criticism are forms of complaining because you also have to switch your wristband for committing these acts. I can go along with criticism as a form of ‘complaining’. But gossip? If I was wearing one of those wristbands I guess I would have to switch arms at this point. Anyway… It is allowed to point out when someone else complains but by rule you have complained and yourself must switch your bracelet from one arm to the other. If you should complete the 21 days you will be rewarded by “finding that your entire life is happier, more loving, more positive and more abundant.” I am all for all of those things but I would like the campaign’s organizers to prove these claims will come as a result of their little exercise.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for getting rid of much of the kvetching and griping in which all too many of us revel. Much of it is an unnecessary yet genuine expression of annoyance or discomfort. But lets be real. Where would this US be without some colonists complaining about an unfair tax on teas? Where would the Civil Rights Movement be without Rosa Parks’ complaints about her place on the bus? This campaign gives complaining an unjustified bad rap. I can assure you that if someone is standing on my foot, I will complain. I will probably try to keep it positive. Perhaps, “You are crushing my toes. Can you please move?” I cannot see how I would be “happier, more loving, more positive and abundant” by not complaining. I would at least have the potential of restoring my toes to some sense of reasonable comfort. On the other hand, if my response were, “Hey lard ass. Are you blind and stupid? Get off of my @# toe, %&!” and then realize that I have insulted some large and muscled gentleman’s blind lady friend, I might expect to feel some additional pain. It is all in the delivery. The campaign is mistitled. It may have been better titled “A Kvetch Free World.”
If we really want a better world we need to embrace and act positively to resolve complaints, not on all out suppression of them. I’m going to start my own campaign that better focuses our energies toward positive change. Go ahead and complain. But don’t stop there. Make an effort to alleviate your situation. In the end it isn’t about complaining as much as it is the negative ways that complaining can often manifest itself. Everyday, we have police issuing complaints against people that violate any number of laws. I know that I feel happier for the sense of security that is provided by these actions. Rev. Bowen’s own reactive ‘another day in paradise’ mantra is little more than a veiled complaint but congratulations to him for at least adopting a fairly benign approach towards things that annoy him. Instead of disciplining ourselves for complaining we should be disciplined in how we complain. Complaining can be a part of positive change and I see no valid reason to excise the practice from my everyday life.
No complaining? No way. It is the very nature of a working society.
